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Getting to Know You
Getting to know you
Getting to know all about you
Getting to like you
Getting to hope you like me
Getting to know you
Putting it my way
But nicely
You are precisely
My cup of tea.
That’s a fun song to sing and usually the very beginning of getting to know someone is like that — such a happy experience. We all start relationships with high hopes and curiosity. Even if we have been in and out of several relationships or even marriages, we still think “maybe this time,” and we try again.
Have you ever wondered why you are attracted to the people that you get seriously involved with?
This is where analytical psychology of the noted Swiss psychiatrist, Dr. Carl G. Jung can help us reach a very interesting understanding.
Jung says that initially we meet each other through what he called our personas, which is a mask we all wear when we go out into the world. In Astrology, it closely resembles what we call “the rising sign,” and this is our idealized self-image of what we believe we are. It’s designed to make an impression on others. It also acts as a buffer to protect our egos as we go out into the world, but it is not all of who we are. People will have to get to know all the other parts of us if they want to truly get to know us, and there are many characters in every one of us that even we don’t know.
There is no better psychological system for recognizing our innate archetypal psychic structure and individual needs than through Astrology. Especially when it comes to self-knowledge because in this regard, it can explain all the different parts of us with amazing accuracy – but that doesn’t mean they are all operating consciously at all times. Many parts of ourselves go into the unconscious early on as we are socialized into wearing this mask and denying our true nature.
What we Astrologers call planets, Jung called archetypes so none of us is born tabula rasa (blank slates). We are born with predisposed patterns imprinted from birth. Our birth chart (time, place and date) describes these archetypes, and learning about our astrological blueprint is life changing.
Briefly, the Sun is symbolic of our center, our identity, our need to shine and create. Then there is our Mercury which is symbolic of how we think and communicate. Our Mars is descriptive of how we take action and go after what we want.
Whether we are male or female, we all have a Mars – a male side. Our Venus is how we relate to others, what we attract and find beautiful. The Moon describes our emotional nature, and along with Venus are descriptive of the feminine sides of us. Then you have to look at your Jupiter, Saturn, Chiron, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto so all of these planets have meanings and their own sign and aspects. Then the houses where they are tenanted are taken into consideration, so we are all very complicated people. In fact, no two people will be identical unless they happen to have been born the same day, city, state and country and time, which is highly unlikely to be anyone we run into in this lifetime. We are all very unique while at the same time, we each have all of the archetypes in us — just in different proportions.
When it comes to relationships, the question becomes what is it that we intuitively feel when we believe we have found “the one”? Surprisingly enough we are not the ones doing the choosing. Jung says that we are falling-in-love with a projection of our most unconscious self. In fact, he says it is 100% projection and the unconscious in us that made this choice for us. According to Jung, we are all very influenced by our relationship with our parents, and this is what Freud called “transference.” We transfer our history with our parents onto our partners and sometimes relate to them as if we are relating to these primal relationships. So, both projection and transference are operating whenever we get involved with each other.
There is another term that Carl Jung introduced called “synchronicity.” He says, synchronicity is something that is always happening, and it appears to us as if it’s a coincidence or an accident. However, it’s a phenomena of being alive and connected to the cosmos because we are all made up of that energy. This is another way to view reality besides cause and effect, and astrology is a synchronistic model par excellence that interprets our specific connection to the Cosmos. It shows us that what is inside us is also outside us in a person, an event, an object, etc. It is a multivalent symbolic language of the soul, and becoming conscious is what soul work is all about.
So how do we get to know more about ourselves?
This is where shadow work comes in, and the ancient alchemists called our shadow, the prima materia. They knew even back then in the 12th through 17th centuries – when alchemy was very much a part of the world view – that learning about our totality is a process, and no one does this overnight. The beginning of this difficult and long process of self-knowledge always begins with the shadow, and there is no other way.
Shadow Work
The shadow, a term coined by Jung, is everything about us that is unconscious, repressed, undeveloped and denied. It works along with the male and female contrasexual aspects of us that he called the Animus and Anima (see diagram) and the Self with a capital S, which is the central archetype inside of us. To get to our truest, most authentic self we will need to learn about all of these unconscious aspects of our being.
As you can see in the diagram, the doorway into our unconscious is our “shadow.” These parts of us that are hidden, feared, and rejected by our ego are both positive and negative aspects of our being. There is actually gold in our shadow, very helpful parts of us that we do not know, but most of us have more trouble with learning about the negative parts as they go against our ideals of who we want to be.
However, the psyche is striving for wholeness and this complex he called “the shadow” is what brings us face-to-face with unpleasant and sometimes destructive relationships with others. It behooves us to learn more about our own unconscious.
Becoming Conscious of the Unconscious
Every month I will describe more about how to become conscious of our unconscious archetypes, and I will briefly describe the Zodiacal signs one at a time. This month we will start with the sign of Aries. You may have the Sun or the Moon in Aries or it can be your rising sign which puts the opposite sign (180˚˚ ) in your 7th house (marriage, partnerships and open enemies). Yes, the ancients called the marriage house the house of open enemies or you could have a strong Mars. These descriptions are going to be some general characteristics of the sign Aries which is ruled by the planet Mars and a few possibilities of what could possibly become unconscious.
Aries – the Ram/the Warrior is the first sign of the Zodiac (approximately March 21 through April 20), and it heralds the beginning of spring. Developmentally, it is from birth to about 18 months. Aries is learning to just be! This is the infant out of the womb who knows no differentiation between themselves and their Mother, or primary caretaker. Archetypally, this sign is predisposed to being concerned with itself, it’s all about me, my way or the highway is a slogan given to this very independent sign. They often prefer to go it alone and will go to combat with anyone who gets in their way, or makes them slow down as they rush into activity and action somewhat impulsively. Self-centered and childlike in their determination, they are also often driven to rescue those in danger as they will go where others are afraid, and they like to derive their identify as a warrior and conqueror of their own fears.
So, what could possibly be in the Shadow? The total opposite as the psyche is made up of pairs of opposites. Jung postulated that whatever we are highly identified with, the exact opposite is going to be in our unconscious to the same degree. Therefore, each sign is paired with an opposite, and the opposite of Aries is Libra.
Libra is the sign of balance that wants to be fair to others and has a distinct challenge with making decisions on its own which can make it rather wishy-washy, who will at times acquiesce to someone stronger in order to avoid a confrontation. When this sign makes it a point to think of others first before themselves too much, they can end up becoming a doormat and spinelessly naïve about more aggressive souls. Also, they are prone to be appearing weak and self-effacing, simply lacking initiative. When taken to an extreme, you could say they are wimpy, passive-aggressive when cornered and unwilling to take a stand and put their foot down even when they clearly need to.
Now you can see where we are going with this? Think of a characteristic in a person you don’t want to be anything like, someone that you cannot stand the sight of, and THERE you will find a part of your own shadow begging you for self-acceptance. Taking a look at your opposite is not easy for the ego to accept, so keep that in mind as most are unaware they have an unconscious at all or that there is compensation taking place in the unconscious.
Every month I will describe strengths of each sign and then the opposite, which if left in the unconscious can truly cause problems in relationships.
To be continued…
Rebeca Eigen
Rebeca Eigen, an astrologer for 25+ years and author of The Shadow Dance & the Astrological 7th House Workbook specializes in relationships. From every day decisions, to critical life-altering moments, Rebeca shares with you her practical wisdom and guidance for your life’s journey in becoming who you are meant to be.
https://www.shadowdance.com/
