Mark Okita, a remarkable Energy Healer from Hawaii, answers questions of our readers.
1. What are the signs that my behavior is ego-driven?
There are three primary ways through which the ego tries to counteract its inherently disturbing state of feeling vulnerable, insubstantial, unworthy or lacking. The first is through feeling morally superior, usually achieved by judging others and world events, or defending and promoting one’s beliefs or knowledge. This is attractive to those of us who value being a good, ethical, smart or spiritual person. Another ego strategy is accumulating more – more power, money, fame, approval, information, etc. There is a thrill in getting more and a feeling that more is never enough. The third strategy often used by the ego is deadness and distraction. This could take the form of taking drugs or alcohol, bingeing on the internet and TV/videos, or simply being numb and unaware. A zombie is a appropriate metaphor for this state. There are often combinations of the three types as well as others not indicated here.
All of these behaviors are attempts to feel okay inside through changing the outer world and other people. We are trying to use the world to make us feel happy and whole. This is futile. The outer world is okay when we are okay inside, not the other way around. The near universal human fear that something bad might happen is created by judgment, not the outer event. There are no “bad” events except as it is judged as such. Once there is complete acceptance, any action or non-action will come from a place of clear seeing rather than programming; Love rather than fear; authentic power rather than compensation.
The most important point is that ALL ego-driven behaviors come from the motivation to compensate for its inherent feeling of lack. And until there is a seeing through of the ego, ALL behaviors are ego-driven. It is only a matter of degree and sophistication. This is not a bad thing. It is a stage of evolution from which we are being strongly encouraged to evolve. The way to evolve is to be AWARE of our ego drives. If we become more aware without judgment, it is liberating. If we judge our ego-driven behaviors as bad, that further feeds the ego.
2. Once I see my ego-driven behaviors, what can I do about it?
The clear seeing OF the conditioning rather than experiencing life THROUGH the distorted lens of the conditioning is inherently liberating because is comes from beyond the ego-conditioning. The more we See, the more this fearless aspect of ourselves awakens. But because it is so simple, and because it is beyond the ego’s grasp, the ego will judge and dismiss it in order to save itself and retain its reign of fear in our lives.
Below is an example of how surprisingly effective this subtle practice of Seeing can be in healing a particular form of judgment that has caused untold suffering for so many: SELF-JUDGMENT. It is often stated that self-judgment comes from early childhood conditioning; that because we were judged at an early age we continue doing it to ourselves. This may be partially true, but why do we keep doing it even if it is painful. In other instances of experiencing pain, such as burning ourselves on a hot stove, we quickly learn to stop doing it. However, in the case of self-judgment, we seem to be hell-bent on persisting. Why is this? There is a pay-off. Otherwise, we wouldn’t keep doing it. Here is what we get out of it: In the moment of judgment we feel superior to the one we are judging. We have split ourselves in two – the judger and the judged. Rather than face the feeling of inadequacy, we create a superior alter-ego. It may seem inconceivable or even insane at first but think on this deeply. Seeing this could be very healing and liberating. We begin to appreciate how strong the need is to be right and morally superior. We begin to realize how the insecure ego will resort to anything to feel more powerful even if it is judging itself.
Here is the way out of this tangled web. Realize that you are NEITHER the inferior one being judged nor the superior one doing the judging. They are both ego-created apparitions. Do not judge the judger; do not feel sorry for the judged. They are not real. They are not you. YOU are the observing presence that clearly sees both but does not identify with either. You are the “middle way” of equanimity, clarity and truth. Keep seeing this every time there is self-judgment and that old tormentor will quickly vanish in the Light of Awareness which is the Real You.
3. It is easy to be lost in the calamities of life, what are some important things to remember or implement?
First, realize that worry, fear and judgment do absolutely no good for you, the world and others. In fact, it further pollutes the collective consciousness and energy field with more negativity. Even the use of words such as “calamities” has a flavor of negativity and drama. This is the result of being deeply programmed to judge things as good and bad, as discussed above. Outer events will always happen as they do. Adding the “poisonous special sauce” of judgment guarantees that the life events we have already been served become distasteful or even toxic and harmful. Although we may not have a choice in many life events, we do have a choice in how we respond. The most important and essential choice is not taking the fear-based stories in our head to be real.
Next, be willing to look outside of our familiar way of viewing things. We often underestimate the the cunning and sophistication of our ego. The ego speaks to us as the voice in our head. It has whispered its lies and threatened us with dire consequences for hundreds of thousands of years of our human existence. It now has our complete attention and allegiance. When it comes to Liberation and Love, it is not so much our conviction and commitment to beliefs that is so important as it is to have the willingness, courage and perseverance to stop believing in, and bowing to, those voices in the head that promise happiness it has NEVER delivered. The doom that it perpetually threatens never manifests except as the suffering created by those voices.
Realize that much suffering is caused by wanting to know things that we simply do not or cannot know for sure. For example, being absolutely sure that a person, health condition, world event, etc., is “bad.” Be okay with not knowing the outcome. Experience the lightness of not being sure of anything. At the very least, begin to be aware of how affirming something as bad, in the interest of having it all figured out, creates far more suffering than the actual event.
4. That all sounds good, but what about when I have already fallen into a very negative emotional state and I can’t seem to find a way out?
First, relax and breathe! Fear, anxiety, anger, shame, craving, etc., cannot exist in total relaxation. Simply remembering to relax the body will allow troubling emotions to naturally fall away. Breathing not only discharges stale air, but it also discharges harmful energies and emotions. Holding our breath, holding on to tension and holding on to negative emotions and energies are all interrelated. The next time we feel troubled, rather than going to the mind to figure it all out, which creates even more suffering, simply breathe, relax and release.
Next, stop judging the emotion as bad and stop trying to change or run away from it. Demonizing any emotion is a trick of the ego (because it is more judgment) that creates even more tension and suffering. Instead, be wide open. Be as accepting as possible of whatever we are feeling.
Cultivate an ability to place attention on something other than thinking, especially over-thinking. I shared three types of meditation in the December edition of My Indigo Sun: 1) Breathing Meditation – being aware of the physical sensations of breathing; 2) Body Scan – being aware of the sensations of the entire body, both inner and outer; 3) Aliveness Meditation – being aware of energy or aliveness.
In addition, there are other activities that tend to center attention on the present reality away from the mind’s obsession with the imaginary past and future. Exercise and any form of physical activity that requires full attention can be useful. Creative endeavors such as art, building or fixing things, dancing, playing and listening to music and being fully present and open to nature are also useful.
Ultimately, though, the most powerful liberator is to stop insisting that the world has to be different in order to be happy. When we catch ourselves judging, dreading or complaining about anything, inner mantras such as “I’m fine with that;” “The world is okay just the way it is;” “The only way Love comes into this world is through me;” “I don’t really know and don’t need to know;” “I am okay right now;” and “I trust the Loving Intelligence of the Universe more than the voice in my head” can loosen the death grip of the ego’s need to judge and suffer.
5. When you say, “You are Divine Energy, and Divine Energy is you,” but so are others. This should probably include profit-driven politicians, leaders of greedy corporations destroying the planet, or just criminals. Is it so? Please explain.
Notice how the first question is focused on wanting to be more aware in service of self-liberation. While this question has a strong implication that judgment of others is somehow healing or useful. In the guise of a question, there is judgment of “profit-driven” politicians, leaders of “greedy” corporations “destroying the planet,” or just “criminals.” This question too, is very useful as it is a remarkably clear demonstration of how the ego is so intent on judging everything and does so in the most sneaky and sophisticated ways.
I realize how deeply ingrained this desire to judge others is. This is why Awakening is, at this time, so incredibly rare. It is not because we are not worthy enough, good enough or smart enough. It is because we cling to this deep seated need to label things as good and bad, and this clinging prevents us from seeing the Truth that the Universe is entirely Loving. Judgment is the way that we insist that we know better than God; that we are smarter than the evolutionary intelligence of the Universe.
It comes down to a choice. Are we going hang on to the delusion that the world will be a better place through judging others, or have we finally realized that the ONLY place where we can transform fear into Love, hate into Oneness, is in our own consciousness? Do we really believe that we can FORCE others to be LOVING by JUDGING them?
You will clearly realize that You are Divine Energy when you let go of the need to judge. This realization will allow you to see the Truth rather than the programming of good and bad. When you awaken out of this bad dream, it will be stunningly obvious that the Universe has always been Perfect, Whole and Loving.
We can apply the practice for healing self-judgment to judging others as well. When we judge someone or world events, we are not seeing the truth, we are only seeing our programmed way of viewing things. Hence, the next time we catch ourselves judging someone or something, realize that that person or event is not real. We are seeing our conditioned interpretation, not Reality. You don’t need to be fully convinced it is not real. All that is required is the willingness to leave the pain, delusion and prison of judgment behind. See that person or event as not real and see the one who is judging (your ego-need to be right and superior) as also not real. The only thing that is Real is That which is Seeing both. What Sees is the present Life Force or Divine Energy.
Mark Okita
Mark Okita is a born energy healer and his diverse life experiences have further expanded and refined those gifts. He trained for many years in the martial arts with an emphasis on meditation and cultivation of internal energy. Mark loves nature and has had wilderness experiences in Alaska, Arizona, California, Colorado, Hawaii, Mexico, New Zealand and Peru.
His work experience has included working in the HIV/AIDS social services and medical fields. He has undergone extensive training in various forms of body and energy healing as well as training and retreats pertaining to awakening human consciousness, including a self-directed 8-year retreat. This has culminated in a surrendering of his ego to the Divine so that all of his healing gifts and diverse life experiences are now in service of a more Pure, Intelligent and Loving Energy. Mark has been a healer on a professional level since 1993 and has been doing specifically Energy Work for the past 20 years. His specialty now is distance healing and telephone sessions. For more information visit
www.markokita.com
