From the time I was five, I knew I wanted to be a free spirit. I hated clothes, I loved nature, and I found myself allergic to rules. Each afternoon I would go out in the yard to play with my imaginary friends, my guides and teachers who are still with me. I would eat the weeds, dance with the flowers, and talk to the trees. My favorite was taking off my clothes and dancing in the rain.
But the rain stops, the sun comes back out, and we grow up. We are forced to conform, to live by societal rules and expectations. We are programmed to strive for a life to fit in, to impress others, to make lots of money, and make our parents proud.
We are taught to be a good person, obey the rules, do as you are told, work hard and you will have a happy life. This is the beginning to what I refer to as the big fat lies. This is what causes us to relinquish our authentic self and become slaves to the beliefs that pleases others. Do this and you will be happy, do that and you will be successful, do this and you will be … Ugh.
Doing this is how you lose who you are, your authentic self, living a life which you expected to make you happy, as you quietly suffer in your confusion and sadness. You say to yourself, “I did everything right, why am I not satisfied? Why do I feel empty? What is missing?“ And the answer is it is your spirit that is suffering. You abandoned yourself to be what was expected of you. The beliefs you create out of societal beliefs is what enslaves your spirit. We are born free spirits full of love and happiness. We are forced to conform, eat when we are not hungry, go to bed when you’re not tired, wear clothes that aren’t comfortable, socialize with people that you don’t like, and the list goes on.
The more you conform, the harder you try, the more you abandon your spirit. You stop trusting your inner voice and start trusting what you feel is authoritative. When you are living your life conforming, you are making the one that gave you the rules to live be happy, not you. The more you try, the harder it gets. Most people spend more time and energy trying to find what will make them happy instead of just being happy. Happiness comes from within. It is free flowing when you are in alignment with your spirit. This is the part of you that feeds and fuels your enthusiasm for life.
As a medicine woman, it amazes me how many people aren’t even aware they are a spirit. They have spent their whole life learning how to take care of their mind, their body, and their emotions, but not their spirit. It is your spirit that drives your life. It is your spirit that fights when you are down. It is your spirit that comes to life when you are happy. It is your spirit that carries you through life. You can be without a body part and still survive, you can lose your mind and still be alive, but when your spirit dies, you die.
So how do you take care of your spirit?
There are many things you can and should do to care for your spirit. Here are 5 ways:
1. Spend time with your spirit. Meditation, journaling, qigong, yoga, chanting, drumming, singing, dancing, all connect and strengthen your spirit.
2. To care for your spirit, commit to your happiness. Make a list of things that make you happy. How many of them are in your life? Make a plan to integrate them into your life.
3. Align with a life that fuels your authenticity. Pay attention to when you say yes, but mean no, and when you say no but mean yes. Do you say yes to going out to eat Chinese even though you want Italian, because it is what everyone else wants, or drive a friend and give up your lunch.
Being true to your self is not selfish. Be flexible but don’t lose yourself trying to accommodate others.
4. Spending time reflecting on your life and keeping it in alignment with what fuels your joy. Do you say “you love spending time with your family” but instead you spend most of your waking hours at work or running errands, or being a part of clubs and organizations you think makes you a good person?
5. Disconnect to refuel. It is extremely important to take time out in nature. Unplug from your life, all of it and reflect, rejuvenate, and reconnect with your authentic desires.
So, this brings me to a question – what is a free Spirit? A free spirit is when you align yourself with your essential values and your authentic self. When you live to feed your happiness and share your joy. It is your core values, the values you have lived by to try and be a good, successful person that locks your spirit in a cage. It is your essential values, the things that matter most in your life, that fuels and strengthens your spirit. Your spirit is free when you live in your truth. Yes, living doing what feels good. It does not mean to be reckless or irresponsible. A free spirit is living when we love passionately and enthusiastically because this is what is feeding our soul, not expectations.
Vasiliki Lagoudis
Medicine Woman
Vasiliki is the visionary and sage behind Teaching Spirit Retreat Centers. An intuitive healer, mother, and spiritual leader, she is a multi-faceted individual who has transformed her entire being through profound teachings and life experiences. With her uncanny ability to use her natural born gifts and innate wisdom to balance all aspects of life, she freely shares love, light, and service.
