For many years of my life, I lived through experiences that felt confusing, painful, and often without meaning. At the time, I could not see any coherent design moving through my story. Only much later, looking back, did I recognize a deeper intelligence quietly arranging the path. First it led me to astrology. Then, two years later, to Carl Jung. Only after walking both for a long time did I begin to understand what Jung meant by the Self — not the ego, not personal will, but the organizing center of the psyche that guides from beyond our conscious control.
The Self does not announce itself. It does not explain ahead of time. It simply arranges life. I think of the Self and its way of weaving our fate when I think of my friend, Marlyse.
Marlyse is 101 years old now. When I met her, she was already in her early nineties — mentally sharp, spiritually disciplined, and deeply devoted to Buddhism, healthy living, and metaphysical and psychological studies. She is a Virgo Sun with a Libra Moon and keeps meticulous files on everything. She is always fascinating to talk to and a pleasure to be around. As a young woman of eighteen living in Switzerland, she longed to study at the Jung Institute but was rejected because of her age. Ironically, prolific author/Jungian analyst, Marie-Louise von Franz began her work with Jung at that very age. Instead, Marlyse found Robert Assagioli and devoted herself to the work of Psychosynthesis. The Act of Will became central to her studies, and she and her husband taught workshops together.
I met Marlyse through a mutual friend who asked if I would drive her to a metaphysical discussion group. I agreed. On that first drive, we discovered a natural warmth and ease with one another. Not long after, I invited her to attend a Sunday School class at a Methodist church I had begun attending. The minister drew from many traditions — Eastern, Western, mystical, psychological, even Jungian — and Marlyse loved it.
For about two and a half years, every Sunday, I drove us there and because she was elderly, I supported her physically as we walked into class. People often assumed she was my mother. Then COVID came, and our Sunday ritual ended. We continued our friendship through reading. I also taught her how to use a Mac and an iphone, and I began reading to her when her eyesight started declining shortly after taking the vaccine.
One day, Marlyse told me something that startled me. A Buddhist monk was moving in with her — not into a spare room — but into her master bedroom.
She, in her nineties, was moving into a small single-bed room. When I asked if the monk would be paying rent, she said, “No. He teaches at a small temple and has no money.” My practical mind immediately worried about her finances, safety, and future care. That night, I went to sleep unsettled.
Upon awaking on that morning, I saw it. She was not going to the temple. The temple had come to her.
A few years earlier, Marlyse had told me she hoped, in her elder years, to travel to India and live out her last days in a temple. It had never sounded like a fantasy. It sounded like a soul-wish to me.
Over time, her living room has been transformed into a place where meditation and spiritual retreats began taking place from time-to-time. Every morning she and the Buddhist monk practice a Buddhist ritual together. He feeds her, takes care of her home, yard, and, as she ages, supports her more and more. What once lived as a distant dream on another continent had quietly incarnated in her very own home.
The Self had not taken her to India. It had fulfilled the essence of her longing in another form.
When I told Marlyse I was writing an article about her, she said: “Many years ago I had a dream that an Indian guru came and stayed in my house overnight, and about ten people came with him.” Very recently, a guru she has known for decades came to her home to visit. The monk has become a steady presence of devoted care as she moves deeper into old age.
This is how I too have come to experience the Self — not as a dramatic force, but as a subtle arranger. The ego imagines specific outcomes. The Self fulfills the deeper intention beneath those images. Often the outer form dissolves while the inner truth of the desire becomes real.
When I reflect on my own life, I see this same pattern. As a young woman, I suffered deeply in my relationships without understanding why. At the time, much of it felt like chaos and grief. Only in retrospect did the design reveal itself. When astrology entered my life, it offered a symbolic language for meaning and then studying Jung gave me a psychological map for transformation. I can now see these were not random interests. They were the Self educating my ego slowly and patiently, in the only way I could receive.
Jung wrote that the Self is not something the ego commands. It becomes visible only through cooperation. Cooperation does not mean control. It means staying faithful to what feels inwardly true, even when the outer path is unclear.
What I have learned is that we are never truly alone. Each of us has an invisible partner within — a quiet intelligence that speaks through longing, suffering, delay, and sudden openings. It speaks through our dreams, through meetings that are not chance, through disappointments that reroute us, and doors that open unexpectedly.
This inner partner speaks all day, every day. The question is not whether it is speaking. The question is whether we are listening.
When we listen, life begins to rearrange itself around what is essential. The forms may change. The timeline may stretch longer than we prefer but the meaning is never lost. The Self does not abandon what truly belongs to us.
If there is any invitation I would leave you with, it is this: begin to treat your inner life as a conversation and notice what calls to you repeatedly. Begin to trust that the invisible partner within is not working against you, even when you cannot yet see where the path is leading.
It is speaking. It has always been speaking. And when you are listening, the temple will come to you.
Rebeca Eigen
Rebeca Eigen, an astrologer for 25+ years and author of The Shadow Dance & the Astrological 7th House Workbook specializes in relationships. From every day decisions, to critical life-altering moments, Rebeca shares with you her practical wisdom and guidance for your life’s journey in becoming who you are meant to be.
https://www.shadowdance.com/
